There are so many unmarried and single ladies who are still living in their parents house at the age of 30 and above because of some selfish demands in the name of traditional rites.
If one can look closely, you will discover that this unmarried ladies have boyfriends who intend to propose Marriage but due to the fact that he doesn't have enough money to "buy the bride" he chooses to keep the relationship purely based on dating and making little or no effort to take it to another level.
Some of this young men end up marrying from another tribe because traditions chased them away and in turn rendered the ladies single.
In the SOUTH EAST Region of Nigeria among the IGBO's, the population of single ladies here is 7 out of 10%. Why.? Because the so called "UMUNNA and UMUADA" won't accept anything less than what was written on the marriage list.
Some of this items really cost a fortune, recently I witnessed a traditional marriage that was almost cancelled because the groom wasn't able to provide some local fouls (chicken) that was requested. The traditional marriage which was supposed to take place by noon was adjourned to the evening.
Many young men in the IGBO land rather choose to marry from other tribe instead of marrying from theirs, this is because of the unfair ways which the groom gets charged to pay for the bride price and other items.
Some of this UMUADA and UMUNNA don't even know how the lady in concern is coping in her marriage or how she managed to get to the position she is, all the care about or want to is how to extort large sum of money from the groom.
HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE BRIDE?
In most cases, the bride and groom end up with nothing after their marriage and begin to start live afresh trying to make ends meet.
This couple may actually become frustrated with the marriage and, most time the lady begins to get maltreated because the groom feels he bought her and nobody has the right to question his actions.
Instead of using all those money to support the newly wedded, No the greedy UMUADA and UMUNNA would rather decide to lavish the money on irrelevant things and leave the couple to the mercies of God.
HOW DOES IT AFFECT THE GROOM?
Some guys due to the amount of time the spent while dating, he would want to settle down sooner to avoid loosing the lady.
When he decides to meet with the bride's family and gets the list of items requested he might loose interest because he doesn't have such amount of money to get the listed items. He becomes frustrated and end up marrying somewhere else.
Most of this guys go to the extent of borrowing millions to settle the traditional rites and after the Marriage they start paying debts.
Some parents and siblings go the extent of not even respecting the groom because he might not be financially stable enough to take care of all their needs as the bride family.
WHAT SHOULD PARENTS DO ABOUT THIS.??
Parents who wants the best for their children would really understand when things are going well or not. Responsible parents should think about the future of any of their child who is getting married and the family they want to start building.
Talking some Senses into this village elders and should be a sole responsibilities of parents, to avoid rendering the couple empty just because of Marriage.
ARE THOSE DEMANDS FROM UMUADA's AND UMUNNA's NECESSARY?
Some of those elders use this medium as a means of securing money and food items which is purely based on personal intentions.
Just because a lady is getting married to a well to do family, the whole village now table their personal problems for the groom to settle in the name of marriage rites .
Sometimes it can take up to a year before the groom can finish settling all the payments, which is uncalled for.
HOW WILL SUCH COUPLE SURVIVE AFTER THE MARRIAGE.?
After so much expenses, some of this couple who aren't well to do or who spent all their lives saving for the Marriage end up begging to eat.
Their future plans all destroyed and blown away into the sea of constant arguments and misunderstanding.
Means of survival becomes very tough and this might be the rise of high blood pressure.
ARE THIS DEMANDS REALLY WORH IT OR IT'S JUST AN ACT OF SELFISHNESS AND GREED.?
It is only in some part of Nigeria that I noticed where elders and community members who never knew the bride nor her family members will start claiming they contributed to the growth of the lady in other to secure huge amount of money and other palliatives.
Most of the demands are never necessary but just to render the newly couple stranded that's when you see all those demands start surfacing.
ARE YOUTHS ADVISED TO GO MARRY FROM OTHER TRIBE BECAUSE OF THIS.?
Some people still cope with this while those who cannot cope with it go elsewhere to marry and live happily.
Marrying because of love is all that matters but when you noticed the family you are getting married to are the type that would render you useless and broke after the Marriage, I will advise you think twice before proceeding.
Make sure you don't borrow to marry because you will end up selling everything you have just to pay off the loans.
Every woman is unique, so I don't see the reason why someone will be charged close to three (3) million because of marriage.
Ask yourself as a lady wether you are being sold or something.! Don't keep mute. If you know the financial state of your husband speak out and don't remain silent.
WHAT SHOULD THE LADIES DO ABOUT THIS.?
Dear single ladies out there, please don't let anyone sell you out as a slave in the name of marriage, if you really want to have enough to eat and care for your children don't spend Everything because of marriage .
Speak up if you feel what is happening is not right, because at the end all those people who are billing your husband won't be there when the Marriage starts collapsing.
Don't allow expensive wedding and receptions stop you from marrying your dream man. You can have more than 10,000 guest on your wedding day but when you start having financial crisis non will be there to help you.
Be wise.!!!
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