BUILDING A SOLID MARRIAGE FOUNDATION

 

Marriage is a beautiful union designed to bound to two individuals whom by mutual agreement accepts to live together as husband and wife.

 Before two people can live together as married couple, there must be a union called marriage.  The tradition of marriage has been in existence over hundreds of years among different tribes, religion and ethnic groups. Marriage is practiced worldwide as a means of uniting a set individuals in matrimony. 

"Underneath every architectural structure, there must be a solid foundation to support and hold the wall, same implies to every happy marriage". The uniqueness of every marriage is based on the foundation that holds it. 'Two can't work together unless they agree; in every marriage there must be understanding and Love which is one of the key factor in any happy union. 

EFFECTS OF BAD MATRIMONIAL FOUNDATION.

• DIVORCE.
• HATRED.
• BROKEN HOME.
• CHEATING.
• EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.
• NEGATIVE IMPACTS ON THE CHILDREN.

            *DIVORCE*

In the society we live today, there are many issues of divorced couple every day and, we still often don't know the causes of this frequent divorce cases just after few years of marriage.

 This has passed on from generations and the society is yet to address the issue. Couple this days find it easy to divorce a partner either because of greed or marital disagreements. In the world we live today many people tend to get married just for fame and wealth and not because of Love.  

10% of couple marry in order to secure wealth and get divorced after acquiring what they intended to have.  Nobody thinks this wrong, the societal norms; should change the view of divorce. In most civilized countries, the Court gives this couple months to think thoroughly before accepting any divorce papers.. 

In the aspect of marital disagreements, this couple where never thought the basis of getting married. Kids these days think marriage is a bed of roses. Marriage is like a school where you learn more about each other on a daily basis. In most ethnic groups and religious beliefs, before marriage is pronounced, the two parties involved most be Mentally Prepared, Financially stable, Psychologically and physically fit.. etc. 

A lot of people get married and find out that their spouses lack in most aspect and this has resulted in the divorce of many marriages.   Most people don't go for marriage counseling and that is one of the problems of the frequent divorce cases. One should be ready and stable before getting married, according to marital vows, marriage is supposed to be a journey of no return. "For better for worst, till death do us apart"...

• Financial Stability: before a man decides to settle down with a woman, he should have a stable source of income to keep the house and other financial needs running. Every woman needs money to care for her home, e.g payment of rents, payments of the children school fees, hospital bills, light bills, groceries shopping and lots more. But when there's no money to take care of the home the house becomes a home of regular argument.
• Physical Fitness:  imagine a situation where a seventeen years old boy is getting married to a sixteen years old girl. We see different cases of teenagers living as couple without proper knowledge of the term Marriage. Cases like this are treated everyday and this is caused by fantasies  and lack of parental guidance. A man and a woman should be matured enough before being bound together as one. A couple who never got parental guidance and counseling could be easily spotted due to regular fighting, physical abuse, and lack of mutual understanding.

                      *HATRED*

Hatred is a feeling. It is caused by an angry, or resentful emotional response, which can be used against certain people, or ideas . Hatred is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards the source of hostility. As an emotion, hatred can be short-lived or long-lasting.

Hatred simply means a situation where two or a group of people dislike each other due to lack of common agreement. Without proper laying of Matrimonial foundation, couple who don't have a mutual agreement will surely hate each other and in most cases this could probably lead to divorce. What usually causes Hatred between a couple is either the marriage was an arranged one from both parents or both couple were betrothed  from birth. 

             * BROKEN HOME *

Imagine a situation where two married people are  living together like house-mates, instead of a couple. this happens when there's no love in the marriage.

 Many homes are broken today because married couple don't understand the word "Marriage". Marriage should be a field of Love, forgiveness, kindness, tolerance and endurance.  Nobody is flawless, at some point in life, everyone most make a mistake which may seem unforgiving. but when there's no Love among couple this might lead to a home full of shackles . Most of the people married couple share their family problems with may also be part of the cause of the problems. Love and understanding should be priority in every marriages. 

6 THINGS TO AVOID AS A COUPLE WHO INTEND TO BUILD UP A BROKEN HOME.

1. Avoid discussing family issues with outsiders.
2. Avoid going to bed without apologizing for a mistake you did.
3. Avoid sharing your relationship problems with your children.(if possible pretend to be in good terms when the kids are around).
4. Avoid talking to your partner when you're angry.
5. Avoid denying your partner sexual needs.
6. Avoid talking when your partner is talking ( a good listener is always calculative before talking).

         *CHEATING (infidelity).*

The most common problems of every marriage is Cheating. 

 Cheating or Infidelity is a violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. Researchers define infidelity as a violation according to the subjective feeling that one's partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms; this violation results in feelings of anger, jealousy , sexual jealousy , and rivalry .

What constitutes an act of infidelity depends upon the exclusivity expectations within the relationship. In marital relationships, exclusivity expectations are commonly assumed, although they are not always met. When they are not met, research has found that psychological damage can occur, including feelings of rage and betrayal, lowering of sexual and personal confidence , and damage to self-image . Depending on the context, men and women can experience social consequences if their act of infidelity becomes public. The form and extent of these consequences are often dependent on the gender of the unfaithful person..   

       *  EMOTIONAL TRAUMA *

Emotional trauma is damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event.  Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one's ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences. 

Couple who built their relationship on a solid foundation will always be strong when the storm starts. Every marriage has it ups and downs, but staying strong together is what really matters. A lot of actions from couple can lead to emotional trauma, and in most cases the victims don't get to recover from the shock.

* NEGATIVE IMPACT ON THE CHILDREN *

There are so many convicted persons who go to jail because of crimes.  Most of this persons come from families with zero,  good Marital foundation; and this persons becomes a victim of circumstance. A man who physically abuses his wife might pass the impact indirectly to his children whom in the future would end up becoming abusive.  Children emulate so much from their parents and family members while  growing up, and every child's mentality is to do exactly  how their parents did while they secretly watched.  Parents who lie, steal, rape, physically abuse, and involved in any sorts of crimes will have children who takes after their steps...